The Carpenter's Daughter by Jennifer Rodewald

Author:Jennifer Rodewald [Rodewald, Jennifer]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Rooted Publishing
Published: 2016-04-14T16:00:00+00:00

Jesse

I kissed her.

Biting my lip and staring at the floor, I fought against the dizzying heat that billowed over me. Unable to calm my pounding heart, I focused on finding a normal breath.

Why had I kissed her? I knew better.

A quick glance at Sarah, and desire flared hot again. Every cell in my body screamed to draw her back, to curl her body tight against mine. I shut my eyes, willing away the phantom sensation of her lips responding to my kiss.

She sniffed, and I forced myself to look at her again. Her arms wrapped around her middle, and she huddled near that awful sink, like a girl who’d been kicked in the stomach. I had wanted her to know—to feel how amazing she was. Now she sank under the humiliation of rejection.

Nice work, Chapman.

“Sarah…” My voice hitched. “Please don’t think—”

The tips of her fingers swiped at the black under her eyes, and then she bent to retrieve her hat. “Don’t think what?” She replaced the hat, pulling the bill low over her eyes.

Think that I don’t want you…

I couldn’t tell her that, because then I’d have to explain why I couldn’t have her. The wrong move for so many reasons. Swallowing, I straightened my concave posture and stepped toward her again.

Touching her was dangerous, but not optional. My fingers brushed her shoulder and traveled down her arm until they settled on her elbow. “Don’t feel like…” I cleared my throat. “We’re—I’m just not ready for this.”

Liar. If I tossed logic and boundaries aside, there’d be no air between us, that kiss wouldn’t have ended, and she wouldn’t think that I didn’t ache to hold her.

She jerked away from my touch. “Right.”

My hand fell to my side, and an empty, helpless feeling cooled the place in my chest that had been on fire moments ago. I’d blown everything—my testimony for Christ, our friendship, any hope that someday she’d be saved and…

That was the problem. I’d had an agenda attached to what should have been my purpose. If I’d cut off that selfish desire and stayed focused on the mission God had given me, we wouldn’t be drowning in awkward pain at that moment.

“I can run you back to the hotel.” My fingers curled into my palm. Even after knowing what I’d done, and how wrong it was, the desire to touch her almost overruled my self-discipline. “You can wash your face, and I have saline. Rinsing both eyes would be a good idea.”

“I don’t need you to fix me, Chapman.” Her chin lifted, and a sharp stab sank into my gut when her blue eyes settled on me. “I don’t want your pity.”

She brushed past me, the contact between her shoulder and my chest harsh. With a pace more suited to a gym than a construction site, she left the bathroom and cleared out of the house.

I shut my eyes as my head fell forward. You’d think by twenty-six I’d have outgrown stupid.

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